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Marriage is an institution with many experience parts. Parts that need to move for things to go smoothly. S3x is just one of those parts but a very important one nonetheless.

But as it happens, marriage can descend into a place where the couple grow so apart emotionally that s3x ceases to be a part of the marriage. Though they still live under the same roof, sleeping in the same bed. The consequences of a sexless marriage are far-reaching.

However, conditions that lead to a s3xless marriage are not always black and white. A couple can be happy and be in a s3xless marriage, wondering what happened to their once blossoming sex life. And s3xless marriage isn’t as rare as you may think.

According to one study, 15 per cent of married couples are in a s3xless marriage. A marriage is said to be s3xless if a couple have not had s3x for 6 to 12 months.

What are the consequences of a s3xless marriage?

Below are ways in which a s3xless marriage can affect you.
Reduces emotional intimacy

Intimacy is important for a couple in marriage. It is about being close to your partner on an emotional level. Intimacy allows one to be vulnerable and open to their partner. It fosters comfort-ability, allowing each person in the union to do things like walking naked before the other person. And s3x hugely contributes to this, hence the reduction of intimacy.
More temptation

S3x is a physical activity that brings pleasure and promotes bonding between a couple. The body is programmed to want s3x, if not for the bonding, then for the pleasure. So when your physical needs are not being met you are bound to be starved and lonely. And that starvation and loneliness may lead to impulsive behaviour, bringing your fidelity into question.
Reduces trust

There is a hormone known as the “Love hormone.” Scientists call it oxytocin. This hormone is secreted when one reaches orgasm, the height of sexual pleasure. Oxytocin increases the feeling of trust between partners. In a s3xless marriage where there is no s3x or intimacy, oxytocin is absent. Therefore, trust is lacking, which will make you begin to question your partner’s loyalty. Why aren’t they having s3x with you? Are they getting it somewhere else?
Low self-esteem

Apart from the pleasure that comes with s3x, what it does for a couple is that it confirms to each of them that their partner wants them. Therefore, this translates into a feeling of attractiveness and being wanted. But in a s3xless marriage where s3x is nonexistent, it will make you start to feel like you’re the problem. That you’re not attractive enough.

To many people, s3x is only a physical activity, but it goes beyond that. It is a time when two souls bond and achieve the feel-good factor. And so it makes sense that when that good feeling is no longer there, resentment and irritability might take its place.


There is never shame in getting help. Talk to your partner. Communicate. If you both want to work things out and rekindle that passion for s3x, find a counsellor with years of experience in marriage counselling.

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